Going on 17

We had a Pharmacology lecture this morning by a man named Rolf. He wasn't young or blonde or a Nazi (that I am aware), but I did spend the entire lecture singing The Sound of Music tunes to myself.

Incidentally, my first car's name was Liesl.

***

I have something pathetic to admit to you. It's kind of scary, actually. In the same that way that it's scary how much topsoil we lose every year.

In August, I attended a lunch lecture by an Alternative Medicine physician. It was a pretty interesting talk and provided lots of food for thought (and my belly, being a lunch meeting) but there was one thing in particular that grabbed me. Rhodiola rosea. This doctor swore up and down that it increased memory and attention span and helped people deal with stress. "In fact", he said, "ALL of you should be taking it!" Well, I ran right out and got some. I really did - that afternoon I was in the health food store checking it out. I read about it too, of course, and it sure sounded good.

So I took it for two months, encompassing the end of IID. And I really did notice a difference, mostly in my ability to deal with stress. I never once cried out of frustration in those two months (this is quite noteworthy), nor did I get into a big fight with my husband or mother, or have any kind of meltdown at all. I dealt with things calmly and with a clear mind. I thought it was great.

The problem, though, is this: I rely on getting worked into a panic-stricken frenzy to get through the last day or two before an exam. I need that drive to keep going and not "see reason" and "calm down already". On this supplement, I couldn't whip that up. Instead, I thought, "I've studied well up until now and that should be enough. If not, then that's okay too". Well, I got my grades back. It wasn't enough. And it's not okay. (I mean it's kind of okay, but it can't continue...)

So I stopped taking the wonderful, balancing, miracle pill. Because it kept me too sane to do well in medical school. Now, a week and a half into path and pharm, I'm panicked and crazy, but studying well and feeling better about how school is going.

Sigh.