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Apr 13, 2008

Breakage

Two weeks ago, I broke down and bought maternity jeans from Old Navy. They are pretty cute, but mostly they don't make me throw up when I try to button them (as they have no buttons). Of course, once you're into the elastic waistband pants, it's hard to go back. I have not been able to wear any of my old jeans since I bought the maternity pair because the old ones are SO uncomfortable.

However, it is difficult to wear the same jeans every day for two weeks. Difficult for people around me, too, as they start to take on a certain odor after a few days. I've washed them several times already, but I just can't keep up. I'm not really ready to get a whole new wardrobe just yet, but I am open to other options.

Like the one my mother gave me when she first found out I was pregnant. She told me that when I got too big for my jeans but wasn't ready for maternity yet, I should wrap a rubber band around the button and then through the button hole. This would allow me to wear my old jeans without buttoning them. God, that woman is a genius!

So I tried it out. I put my stinking-to-high-heaven-worn-out-already maternity jeans in the washer and pulled out some cute jeans from The Days of Olde. I put them on and felt so adorable walking around with normal clothes on. Paired with a long shirt, no one would ever know that I could neither button nor zip my pants closed.

You know how this ends. I'll shorten it for you to get to the point:

  1. I decide to go to the dog park.
  2. I get to the dog park with two very excited dogs.
  3. I am almost a mile away from the car with the dogs heavily involved in a game of chase.
  4. The rubber band snaps and my pants fall down (luckily I am alone).
  5. I have no choice but to hobble back to the car holding my pants up with both hands, as they are so far from closing that it would have taken a rather large bit of machinery to accomplish the task.
  6. I vow to only wear maternity jeans from now on.
I guess that time has come. Au revoir, fashion. Bonjour, muu-muu.

5 Readers rock!:

marymartha said...

Maybe hair elastics instead of rubber bands? with a spare in the pocket???
Or I could loan you some of my jeans!
LOL

Dragonfly said...

That is hilarious. I always associate maternity pants with that episode of Friends where Joey breaks them out over Thanksgiving to allow him to glut himself...

The Shrink said...

My wife got in to expanding/contracting bohemian floaty skirts . . . worked well as her shape and size changed, and she still felt human.

Xavier Emmanuelle said...

Heehee :)

Anonymous said...

Buy a "Bella Band"! It is marketed to be used for exactly the purpose you are describing. They come in an assortment of sizes and colors. Essentially, they are like a very wide band of tee-shirt material. They go on over top of your unbuttoned pre-pregnancy jeans and voila! They will hold your pants up! As an added bonus, you can leave a little of the bottom edge hanging out and it looks just like you have layered a cami or tank under shirt...so it can do double duty for stretching those pre-pregnancy shirts over your belly. Check them out! I wore one with my second pergnancy and it was a life saver. And as embarrassing as this may sound, I still wear mine sometimes when I wear a shirt that is a little too short!