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Oct 13, 2008


I went to Target on Friday. I only had to kill two people while I was there - they totally deserved it, though. I walked in with Colin in his carrier and was wrestling with the cart when these two seeming nice and reasonably intelligent women approached me. The younger one asked me where I got Colin's carrier. I told her and she said that she had the same one and that she was having a boy as well (though she did not look the slightest bit pregnant). Then she asked me if I thought the carrier was heavy. We do, in fact, think that it is heavier than other carriers, and I said as much. She asked me if she could pick up the carrier with the baby in it to see how much heavier it was.

I hesitated. I cringed.

"I'm sorry. He's only 9 days old and I'm new at this. But that makes me really nervous. Sorry."

I felt truly bad, but I wasn't going to change my mind.


"Oh, don't worry. I won't drop him."

She did it. She picked him up out of the cart and swung the carrier around a little bit to "see how heavy it was" (read: try to kill my child). Then she says, "Here, Mom. See how heavy this is?" and hands him off to the other woman.

Well, what was I supposed to do? I had to kill them both to set a clear standard of how these people would be dealt with.

In complete contrast to this stance, I then took my 11 day old son to a wedding where there were untold throngs of strangers who just ached to touch him. I behaved myself and Colin was an angel and slept through almost the entire ceremony and reception, save of course for the opening prayer of the ceremony and the blessing for dinner. Of course.

While at the wedding, I allowed four people (outside of me, Patrick, and Colin's grandmother) to hold him. He didn't poop on a single one of them, only me, and stole everyone's hearts. Of course. We had such a great time, in fact, that it has taken me two days to write this post because of our recovery from the weekend.

Colin has gone into eating overdrive and is feeding for an hour every other hour. Does that make sense? So he'll eat from 1-2, then from 3-4, and from 5-6, and so on. It's insane, really. I think we may stay in this weekend so as not to trigger any more growth spurts. I don't think I can handle it - it took me until 2pm today to even go to the bathroom. I still haven't brushed my teeth, but I'm sure I'll get to it.

6 Readers rock!:

Alykat said...

OMG!!!! I would have gone absolutely INSANE right then and there!!!! Who picks up someone's CHILD when told not to?????
I am appalled!

barrie said...

I am not a mother and really don't ever plan to be but I would never even pick up someone else's puppy unless they offered the puppy to me to hold. I refused to hold supervet's three day old baby when she wanted me to saying that I was WAY too nervous about holding anything that tiny and precious! Those women are insane and should be taken out of the gene pool immediately lest the produce more of themselves!!

Anonymous said...

Evil grocery store women! Colin didn't cry at being manhandled by such socially inept creatures?

WV Kate said...

Everyone in the computer lab at school thinks I'm nuts now since I just said "what the FUCK?!" It wasn't that loud, but I may have put too much emphasis on the f-word. But seriously? Who DOES that? I hope they didn't have any trouble mopping up what was left of those "ladies" after you taught them a lesson. And if there's still a stain on Target's floor, let that be a lesson to all who might think of such a flagrant violation.

Long Family Chronicles said...

Katie -- I can't even believe it. You were way nicer than I would ever be!!!! I think I would have said when she picked up my carrier, "Lady -- Are you kidding me???? I really prefer you not to pick up my 9 day old child." Take YOUR child back and head off!!! This is crazy!! I sure hope Peanut and I don't come across any crazy shoppers like that!!! I might have to whip out a little kung fu!!! (Maybe I should learn it over the next 70 days)

~Ashley said...

ha, i was going to leave an incredulous comment as well, but i see everybody has already done that for me :)