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Nov 12, 2008

Yoga Lessons

Colin and I went back to the Mama and Baby Yoga class today. It was packed today, so we were all jammed in close to each other. I got squished in the back of the room next to this girl. UGH. THIS GIRL. I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and hope that she's never been to a yoga class before. Or heard of yoga, ever in her life. There are some things about yoga that aren't explained at the beginning, no matter how much of a beginners class it is. Perhaps they should explain them, but they don't. One of these things is that you don't talk. Now, it's not that you can't talk, but instead that it is a time for introspection, meditation. Especially in this situation, it is a rare time of quiet. THIS GIRL did not understand that. Like, AT ALL.

Here is a sample of the class:

Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Ooh! Look! My baby's yawning! Aww!

Now lean forward over your baby and stretch your arms.

My labor only lasted for six hours. It was easy peasy!

Let's involve the babies in our yoga. Start with long strokes from the top of the head to their toes.

My baby doesn't like that. She likes it better when you do the fingertip massage.

Now rub the bottoms of their feet. The feet have pressure points that will help the babies pass gas without fussing.

Ooh! My baby just passed some gas! Did everyone hear it?

It was after that comment that I had to strangle her with the straps of her designer diaper bag.

3 Readers rock!:

Jen said...

oh she should be picked up by her (inevitably cute yoga designer way over priced) outfit and tossed out on her (surgically enhanced) bottom!

marymartha said...

I am surprised she wasn't chewing gum and blowing bubbles...
That happened in one of my yoga classes! Nothing like stretch, breathe, CHOMP, CHOMP, POP!!!

Dragonfly said...

I bet she is one of those girls who wears 3 different tops to the gym (so as to have that lovely arrangement of straps) and wears lots of makeup while exercising.
I would be annoyed myself....