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Jan 13, 2010

Stay Awake

First, thank you so much for your kind words of reassurance, support, and advice after my last post. Upon rereading it just now, it seems so desperate and is much more revealing of the state of mind we’ve lived in for the last few months than I had originally intended. As usual, I had hoped to convey an air of confidence and logic, the sense that we had things mostly under control. But, as usual, it is painfully obvious that we struggled immensely with this situation and your response has helped to reassure me that we made the right choice.

And second, OH GOD, THE PAIN.

Transitions are universally difficult, this is no secret. Colin, being the laid-back and generally perfect child that he is, has always done reasonably well with change. He does fine on the weekends, for example, when his schedule is vastly different. The few times he has stayed at the Baby Mama’s house have always been successful regardless of the change in environment and timing of his routine. This particular transition, however, has been a little tougher. And by that, I mean that we three are in tears most of the time over this.

Before I go on, let me say that I really think this will turn out okay. I am planning for this to turn out okay. But right now? Right now it is NOT OKAY.

Here’s the problem: Colin is transitioning from being the baby who is mostly allowed to do whatever he wants, including nap – and the kid loves his naps, to being one of several of the same age child who must follow the same schedule as everyone else. This schedule only allows for one nap. That is the problem, just there. He only is allowed to sleep from 12:30 to 2:30 every day. They aren't letting him sleep.

On Monday he did great in the morning. Patrick dropped him off and stayed for a bit, but left rather soon because Colin was enjoying breakfast and the other kids and the newness of it all and clearly had no need for his doting father. I called the daycare about 11am and was told that he was a little cranky but that he was doing great. Patrick picked him up at 5:30 and, upon walking into his room, found him standing in place and screaming. Screaming, according to Patrick. Apparently there was confusion about his blanket. Don’t mess with the blanket, people. I thought we talked about this. Patrick did a room-wide search for the blanket and, upon presenting it to him, Colin quieted down immediately.

Tuesday Colin went into his room without issue. I had a meeting near his school around midday, so I stopped by to find him sitting in a corner crying big, giant tears and being generally ignored by his teacher. He ran to me when he saw me and collapsed into my arms, clearly exhausted. His teacher said that he’d tried to lie down to sleep in the middle of the floor but kept getting walked on by the other kids. I asked about his blanket and was told that he drags it around, thereby tripping the other kids, making it unacceptable for him to have it. I was at a loss.

Today I got a text from Patrick. “C started crying as soon as I put him down today in his classroom. It was so sad.”

Again, I have high hopes for this situation, but OH MY GOD. We are having some serious growing pains over here and, though I have been reassured by everyone from my mother to the internet to Colin’s teacher to the strangers at work, I cannot help but think that this is the end of the sweet perfect Colin that we all know and love and that we’re all going to die. Call me dramatic, whatever. I’m just saying that what we’re going through with this new daycare feels like the end of the whole bloody world and it is not doing a lot to boost my confidence that this change was the best thing for my family. At least Cheap and Close let him sleep, right?

Patrick, though equally if not more traumatized by this whole thing, has been very realistic about the situation, promising to re-evaluate at the end of next week. However he suggested going back to Cheap and Close if we weren’t satisfied, which made me feel short of breath and see spots. I feel trapped and scared and guilty and terrified that we made the wrong choice and that, as I may have mentioned, we are all going to die.

Maybe Colin isn’t the only one who isn’t getting enough sleep.

2 Readers rock!:

barrie said...

Um, just a dog walker, not a mom or a child care professional but um, well, er, why can't there be a quiet spot at the place for ANY child who wants to go lie down for a bit??? Coin could understand that he can only have his blanket in that corner or whatever, right??

Long Family Chronicles said...

Guess the daycare peeps don't realize that kids still of colin's age sometimes like to take two naps -- if you read some of the sleeping habits books, they even suggest it till 18 months! Guess they didn't read those books!