Three and a Half

Five days until this stupid, stupid exam is over! Three and a half days until I stop studying for it. I have never been more stressed out or frustrated or completely miserable in my life. Patrick told me today that he thinks back to his days of studying for Step 1 rather fondly. He was with friends and they were all going through it together and working toward a shared goal and, in retrospect, it was actually pretty cool. But he'd never want to do it again. I think that I would have preferred to go my whole life without knowing what this is like. It's not like anything I thought it was from watching him go through it or anything I'd expected from all my many months of reading and stressing about it. It is entirely more miserable and demoralizing.

Part of me hopes that I end up with Patrick's sentiment of this time, that I will, in five or ten years, think back and say, "What was I complaining about? I ate lunch every day and got to sit all day long and just learn. What's not to love about that?" I doubt it, though. I may have a horrible memory for things like CD numbers of cells and triads and triangles and spaces and inheritance patterns and all things involving numbers, but I bet I'll think back on this with profound relief that it's over. And then expressly forbid anyone I know from going to med school on account of this feeling.