Viable

Woo hoo! According to the weekly emails and such that I get (the same ones that tell me which item of food the Turnip currently resembles) we have reached a crucial point in the pregnancy. VIABILITY. The Turnip would obviously be quite premature, be at risk for all kinds of problems, and not come home from the NICU for months and months, but still!

Holy cow, we're going to have ourselves a Turnip.

As you may have noticed, I like to pick and choose which bits of information to believe and which to ignore from these little emails. For example, the one today said that I should be feeling the baby move about 10 times in 12 hours. Perhpas I have an Olympic athlete or quadruplets brewing in there, but the Turnip moves about 10 times a MINUTE. He moves so much it makes me nauseous. Today I woke up and looked at my belly in the mirror and it took me about a full minute of staring to figure out what I was seeing. My whole belly was shifted to one side, and that side was sort of undulating. You could see it rippling and shifting. WEIRD. I put some pressure on that side (I felt very off-balance, as you might imagine) and, sure enough, the pulsating mass moved over to the other side. THIS IS NOT NORMAL. Obviously, those email writers who think that 10 times in 12 hours is standard have not encountered the Turnip. Maybe I should write to the Guiness people and see if we could set a record. (or get a free beer out of it.)