Two nights ago, I had this dream.
Squiggle fade to dream sequence.
Scene: Me and Patrick, asleep in our bed. Like we actually were.
PATRICK
(nudges Katie)
Are you okay? You were kind of moaning...
KATIE
Yeah, I think so... Hey, I think I'm in labor.
PATRICK
You are? How can you tell?
KATIE
(reaches down)
The baby's head is sticking out!
PATRICK
Wow!
KATIE
Reach down and grab him.
PATRICK
Okay. Give it a little push.
KATIE
(gives it a little push)
PATRICK
(holds up the baby)
Look! Here's the baby!
KATIE
Aw! Yay! Go find some scissors or something so we can cut the cord.
PATRICK
Okay, but I don't want to leave him.
KATIE
Well, take him with you.
PATRICK
(Walks away with the baby, trailing a 50 foot umbilical cord back to Katie that looks suspiciously like a bright orange outdoor extension cord)
KATIE
Put a diaper on him while you're up!
(nudges Katie)
Are you okay? You were kind of moaning...
KATIE
Yeah, I think so... Hey, I think I'm in labor.
PATRICK
You are? How can you tell?
KATIE
(reaches down)
The baby's head is sticking out!
PATRICK
Wow!
KATIE
Reach down and grab him.
PATRICK
Okay. Give it a little push.
KATIE
(gives it a little push)
PATRICK
(holds up the baby)
Look! Here's the baby!
KATIE
Aw! Yay! Go find some scissors or something so we can cut the cord.
PATRICK
Okay, but I don't want to leave him.
KATIE
Well, take him with you.
PATRICK
(Walks away with the baby, trailing a 50 foot umbilical cord back to Katie that looks suspiciously like a bright orange outdoor extension cord)
KATIE
Put a diaper on him while you're up!
Later, when I actually woke up, I was devastated to find myself still pregnant. I then spent the entirety of yesterday trying to determine if I was, in fact, in labor. I had contractions, was nauseous, tried to survive as my body emptied itself of everything it could. I debated calling my mother and making her drive the 4 hours to me just to get me a cold washcloth for my forehead and tell me if I was in labor or not. I read tons of articles on the internet trying to determine if the pain I was feeling was actual labor pain and not just... not-labor pain (whatever - this stuff is so ambiguous it's disgusting), but couldn't come up with an actual answer until it finally went away last night. At that point I decided that I was not actually in labor - and that made me really angry. Today has been much better, helped by a long lunch over yummy Indian food with an old friend. Still, I would have preferred the dream been real - much easier that way.
6 Readers rock!:
I love dreams!! Diaper and scissors in one trip - how terribly practical! It was a wonderful lunch - thanks.
I know what you mean. At the end of first year I had this dream where my anatomy professor (one of the heads of the medical school) called me to ask why I wasn't in class, and when I asked for clarification he told me that I had been let into med school early because of my hard work in his class, and why hadn't I turned up for the first day? Anyway, so several weeks passed in the dream in which I moved from Toronto back to [university city], started classes, fit in with my peers, started making friends, studied my butt off and wrote my first exam...
and then I woke up. Still in Toronto and extroordinarily confused. Man, I was utterly disappointed for about three days!
P.S. I'm in complete and utter facebook deprival. Just wanted to tell you that for some reason.
Spicy food to bring on labour?
I just LOVE the imagery of the bright orange extension cord.
Ah, Katie, sorry 'bout that...too bad the dream wasn't real....here's an idea. Make a rasberry pie. i decided i had to do that before our son was born, for some odd reason and he arrived several days later...!
Xavier....sorry your dream didn't come true either...would have been great! It w i l l happen, though!
Still pregnant? One of my friends from home had her baby this weekend (about a week early) so I've got my fingers crossed for you too!
Tracy: thanks :)
Post a Comment