Not Dead and Still Pregnant

For some reason, I had an aversion to the computer for the last 5 days. I simply had no desire to touch it or check it or do anything on it. Sorry to leave everyone hanging like that, but I had a little computer hiatus. Now I'm back. I think that it has a lot to do with the fact that my computer is now plugged in - it's hard to use a laptop that has died and the power cord is in the other room but you only realize it after you've sat down on the too-soft soft and the thought of getting up again makes your bones crack in unpleasant ways. So I usually just used the dead laptop as a TV table for my food. I'm that cool.

Nothing exciting to report on the Turnip front. I was glad that he stayed in place past this weekend, as I had some lovely social events to attend. I am grateful that he understands who is the boss in this relationship and listened to me when I told him that he was GROUNDED until Sunday night when we got back to Lex. However, he has not listened to me since then, and I've been telling him YOU GET OUT HERE THIS INSTANT! Little rebellious bugger.

We have also reached that point in the pregnancy where people are giving me their schedules so that I can, if possible, work around them when I go into labor. My mother, for example, is a high school teacher who is charged with proctoring state mandated testing all week, so this is not a good time, but the weekend is okay. However, my two youngest sisters are out of town this weekend, so it would really be better if I/the Turnip waited until at least Sunday. My friend Allison is working nights this week and is likely to be exhausted, so this really isn't great timing for her either. I love that people are involved and want to be around, but I just want the baby OUT and everyone can visit when they can. It's not like the hospital is anything pretty to see anyway. I talked to the Baby Mama yesterday, who said that she remembered those same conversations and that I was among them. Huh. There are some things that you just don't understand until you've been through them, I suppose. This is one of them. Note to self: try not to be so annoying the next time someone close to me is about to bring forth life from their womb.

I got a haircut last night at one of those walk-in places and, rather unfortunately, the guy that cut my hair is expecting to be a dad soon. Would you like me to recount his entire story? I don't think that breaks any confidentiality, since I was the client, and, in waiting my turn, I heard the story twice before it was then told to me (with the exact same wording - mix it up a little, Haircut Guy!). The gist of it was, "Hey! You look pregnant! My wife is pregnant too! We're due in..." and then there was just a light buzzing sound around my ear as I tuned him out and put on some Simon and Garfunkel in my head. I would occasionally nod and say, "Aw! That's so great!" and go back to listening to "The Sounds of Silence". I did catch one thing he said, which was, "I just feel like I have a good understanding of pregnant women - like I know what they need." And I laughed at him. Out loud. Like my loud, throaty laugh that always gets me in trouble. I felt bad immediately, but he took my laughter as acknowledgment or encouragement or something and kept right at it. Dude, the pregnant women want you to STOP TALKING. Especially about being pregnant. YOU DON'T KNOW and you NEVER WILL.

I'm thinking of having ice cream for lunch today. The Turnip really likes it when I have ice cream and I tell him, "If you come out you can have some for yourself! You won't even need to steal mine! Ooooooh.... sounds good doesn't it?!" I never tell him that it will be about a year before he can have it, so don't you tell him either. The disappointment of the delay in ice cream will come soon enough.