Ten Months

I remember saying this when Colin was about six months old, and here I am about to say it again. This time I really, really mean it. I want Colin to stay exactly this age. Just as he is, today, ten months and one day old. We are right on the cusp of so many changes and developments. I am excited for them, of course I am, but part of me relishes the fact that my baby still needs me to cut his food into tiny pieces because he has no teeth and carry him around because he cannot walk. These two states will not last much longer, but I wish they would. It is so much nicer this way.h



I am particularly unprepared for the walking. He is such a fast crawler (the regular way now instead of his Awesome Army Crawl of Yore) that I am terrified of the level of destruction that he will no doubt reign upon us in the coming months and years and decades. As it stands now, he can really only reach the dog food and seriously, the dogs eat it so how bad could that be? (Of course, they also like to stick their heads in the litter box, so perhaps that is not as comforting as I’d imagined it to be.)

My word, though, this boy can cruise. He does this all day long on anything around. Furniture, sure, but also, adults, passing dogs, the occasional cat, and also any toy big enough to be pushed like a walker. It is a source of endless pleasure to him to crawl to our coffee table, pull up to a stand, look me in the eye very seriously, and then laugh while he walks toward me and whatever snack I’m having. It’s as if he knows that I’m nervous about him walking and he wants to show me that there is no point in worrying, it’s going to happen, and soon, so I should just hand over the string cheese before things get out of hand.



One exciting checkmark on the milestone chart this month: clapping. My friends, do have any idea how validating it is to have your child applaud when you walk in the room? To have them smile and laugh and clap simply because of your presence? This is new in the last few days. It is so new that I still do my best to elicit this applause, stupid things like faces and dancing and providing food. To be truthful, t is a little pathetic. Even when I was a performer I didn’t live for applause the way I do now – it’s like a drug, this cheering, and I can’t get enough of it. It is that cute.

As he has learned to mimic the applause we offer for him, he now mimics various other things as well. He and Patrick have learned to communicate with each other by developing a language involving odd choking sounds (which are actually a variation of laughter) and tongue clucks, a relatively new discovery of Colin’s. He is beyond thrilled when he someone clucks at him and happily offers a series of clucks and gag-laughs back. This bizarre conversation never fails to be hilarious for all parties and is a perfectly lovely way to pass an afternoon.



This month has been an incredibly busy one for our little family, as it is the first time that both Patrick and I have had consistently long days simultaneously. As a result, Colin has spent a good bit of time at his day care. I still am pleased with our situation, but some of Colin’s behaviors at home have changed; I think he is picking up some of the older kids’ temper tantrum tendencies and he’s trying them out on us. For example, if I am slow to notice that he is getting hungry, he will sit himself down on the floor, clench his fists and eyes closed, and yell. Really yell, not cry or fuss, but a from-the-gut yell. Then he’ll open his eyes and look at me with almost scientific curiosity to see my response. It’s interesting, but not terribly attractive. Also, of course, it is not altogether unexpected. Still, though. This is the first unequivocal evidence that my little angel baby might grow up into a snotty toddler and then a bossy school kid and then an angsty teenager. Let’s just keep things as they are, shall we?



In what will be a shock to exactly no one, I continue to be amazed by this little person. Every moment I spend with him is like watching a flower unfold in the morning. Be it the clapping, the crawling, the evolving sense of humor, I am so aware of this complete person born a little bit more each day right in front of me. Since he was brand new, people who meet him have always remarked that he has an “old soul”, one that you can clearly see in his eyes, which has a path in life sure to lead to wonderful things. The first time I was told this, I thought the woman was a kook, which she was. But the more I hear it, the more I think I see it too. Whatever it is that Colin is destined to do, and I too am sure that it will be wonderful, I already know that he has changed my whole world for the better, just by being in it.