All Grown Up

The best part about being an attending physician is being able to act like a grown up. 

I get to make my own schedule! I get to say when I need a day off or want to work more. They ask me what kind of patients I want to see, and then they schedule those patients. I have some actual control over my life. I don't really know what to do with that kind of power. 

Studies show that a lack of control over one's schedule is the leading cause of burnout for physicians and I am starting to understand why. The sheer joy I feel at being able to click a button and be off, without much in the way of having to explain myself or why I need time away, is unspeakable. After years and years AND YEARS of being told exactly when and where to be without my input or personal life considered, this is a breath of fresh air. It's a hurricane of fresh air and I love it. 

I know that I will get busier and feel much more pressured. I understand that this euphoria I am rolling around in will become mundane and that I will grumble like everyone else. So when that happens, I hope to reflect back on the freedom I feel now and remember how much I wanted to be where I am, how hard I worked to get this much control, and the sacrifices I made to have these privileges. 

But most importantly, I never want to lose sight of how incredibly lucky I am to be here.